Valentines Day Tips for Your Relationship!

It’s that time of the year again- when love is in the air (or the hate for love is in the air) We here at Taboo Tabou like to embrace Valentines Day as a great time of the year to take care of your own personal sexual health, or if you are in a relationship, the sexual health of that relationship. Sex takes work. Say it with us. SEX. TAKES. WORK. Unlike what Cosmo and other magazines want us to think one day you don’t just turn into a magical sex machine that is able to learn all the skills it takes to have great orgasms or give your partner the orgasm of their dream. There is a lot our society, media, and medical fields have taught us wrong about sex.

With that said (sorry for the preaching) we took a moment to talk to our favorite Sex Therapist and educator, Rena, McDaniel, on some tips for both those of us in relationships as well as single.  We love Rena because she focuses her practice on creating conversation and opportunities for personal exploration that expand folk’s capacity for pleasure, audacity, and embodying their most authentic self. She is a therapist at IntraSpectrum Counseling as well as an awesome Sexual Educator around the city. She’s also leading a workshop on Wednesday Funerary 10th Called Expanding Pleasure: How One Simple Equation can Change your Sex Life. Hurry to purchase tickets by clicking on the link before it fills up!

What are your favorite tips for improving communication around sex and desire for a couple?
My best tip is to talk and talk often. The biggest barrier I see in getting couples to talk about sex and desire is that it feels awkward for them. Culturally, these topics tend to be charged and we don’t often practice talking about them with a partner. The more we can normalize these types of conversations, the easier it will get.
What are some suggestions you have for exploring your own arousal and desire in or out of a relationship?
The best suggestion I have is also the simplest. Give yourself time and pay attention to your body. We often rush through masturbation or sex with little to no attention at what is actually going on in our body. When you allow time and space for yourself and really tune into the sensations in your body, we learn a lot about ourselves and our desire.
what is one of your favorite toys or lubes to incorporate in a relationship?
Uber Lube is one of my favorite silicone lubes because it doesn’t have a lot of ingredients you can’t pronounce and has a lovely silky texture. I also love toys that focus on sensation. Any sort of leather impact toy (crops, paddles, etc) can also create a lot of delicious sensation when used in a softer way to play with the texture and temperature of the leather on skin.

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