Total Babe: 5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

things I wish I knew when I was younger

 There are plenty of things I wish I knew when I was younger that would have made growing up a bit easier and being an adult less stressful. In your early 20’s everything feels fresh, even in a place you might have grown up in. When I was in my early 20’s the advice people gave out usually consisted of ‘do good in school’, ‘stay away from drugs’ and those sort of things. Very rarely did anyone talk about the things that can help develop self-confidence in the whole person, not just the person you are supposed to be to make money. So here are five things I wish I knew when I was younger.

Things I Wish I knew When I Was Younger: Invest In Yourself.

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One of the biggest things I wish I knew when I was younger was to invest in myself over others. I was always chasing boyfriends and friends and letting that fill up a lot of my time. I gave a lot to my relationships. All of my relationships also gave just as much back to me but relationships happen in a vacuum of time and during your early 20’s you are working toward something much larger than that moment in time.  After all, eventually you may move or chase a career and that girlfriend or boyfriend you always dropped everything for will not still be around.

 

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger: Get In Control Of Your Orgasm.

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No one tells you that masturbation is good- so I’m here to tell you. One of the most critical things I wish I knew when I was younger was to buy a vibrator and get in control of my orgasm. The minute you own a vibrator and learn about your body that is the minute you gain true independence. In our society we are taught nothing about our orgasms except that it should happen with a partner. Truth is when you don’t know how to give yourself an orgasm it’s going to be a lot harder to show someone else how to give you an orgasm. Also if you have a great idea of what works for you and your orgasm early on you’ll be less likely to put up with bad sex from lovers who may not value learning it.

 

Our society has taught us that it is all about the male orgasm and through your relationships you are going to have to spend time reteaching your partners that is not true. If you know what a good orgasm feels like and you find yourself a partner who also values your orgasm you’ll have a better idea of this person being a good fit for you.

 

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger: Take Care of Yourself over Others.

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In your early 20’s you will quickly find yourself running a million miles an hour. When I was in my early 20’s one of the things I wish I knew was to take better care of myself mentally and physically. this is easy to say when you have a steady paycheck. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs are real and it’s important to do whatever you need to meet your basic needs of food and shelter- but past that in your younger 20’s you need to truly find ways to take care of yourself mentally and physically.

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger: Watch Good Porn

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One of the things I wish I was told when I was younger was to watch good porn. We are told not to watch porn, especially as women. When I discovered porn that was both body positive and sex positive my world changed. I was able to look at vulvas and vaginas that were different shaped then what we see in mainstream porn or media, I saw bodies that looked like mine, that had colloid and hips and curves and I felt better about myself. I am pretty obsessed with Erika Lust because it is truly sex education. In our society the only true sex education any of us is exposed to is typically through porn. Most porn is either depicting violence toward women or is only concentrating on the male orgasm. Find porn that celebrates you and expose yourself to visuals of women having safe and healthy orgasms.

 

Things I Wish I knew When I Was Younger: Change is Inevitable

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The most critical thing I wish I was told when I was younger was that change is inevitable. I spent all of my early twenties as a hyperactive type A personality always fearing change. Change is inevitable and the minute you let go of all your preconceived notions of what life is supposed to look like you’ll feel a lot better. This is something I still struggle with day to day but when I do embrace and accept it I do feel better.

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