Break Up Survival Guide
Girl, we know all break ups are tough and that’s why we put together our break up survival guide. Breaking up is tough like you don’t want to get out of bed because you just realized all the seasons of Shameless are on Netflix and it’s only August so, like, this month totally doesn’t count. There are always two sides to a breakup, the one that makes your heart feel like it just shattered into a million pieces in front of everyone online and the kind that makes you think “daymn I did good.”
Don’t worry either way. We’ve got you covered with the ultimate break up survival guide. No matter where you are in the breakup process we’ve got you covered with our favorite tips and tricks we’ve collected throughout the years (because pro-tip- we’ve been broken up with/ broke up with/ had our hearts broken like 100 times before).
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 1: Carpe- Day-um and treat yourself to a spa day.
We don’t mean like a million dollar spa day. We mean like a realistic spa day. The best thing you can do for yourself is either take some time out at home and make a spa day, or grab 30 dollars and drive over to King Spa in Niles. King Spa is our favorite place in the world. For just 30 dollars you can legit pretend you are one $Rich Bitch$ and hang out in different spa pools, saunas, and steam rooms. After lounging in the women only area (which- can we take a minute and wish the whole world was like that. K. Thx) go on upstairs and take a nap in the oxygen room. Spend 5 hours there or 10 hours, and we promise you’ll walk away like Beyonce.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 2: Watch Some Good Porn.
Watch some delicious porn. Especially something with Owen Gray. Ohhhhhh Owen Gray. Do you think he knows we have a SUPER crush on him? So no lie, we pretty much fell in love with him when we watched Erika Lust’s I’m Obsessed With Owen Gray. I mean it was legit like 30 minutes of this hot guy giving this hot girl the ultimate pleasure. YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH QUEEN IT’s Good. Also, you know what else is good? Like pretty much everything he is in- so check out his ManyVid’s account to really get into it.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 3: Delete Him.
You remember that scene in Clueless when Tai throws out the shoe box of everything about Elton. Well electronically throw his shit out. Seriously. Delete those pictures, comments, and all connections online. While you are at it block his ass too. Don’t take this as anything angry but more as a healing process. Whether your Ex acts like it or not they are hurt too and watching them going through their break up the process while you are doing the same is just tough. For the time being find ways to disconnect and connect into your new life, without the fool.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 4: Get with your girl gang.
Being an adult is tough, and it’s finally been proven that the older we get, the harder it is to find friends and keep friends. Life happens, and at certain points, in our lives, our friends are going to be super wrapped up in their work or relationship lives. If you got your girl gang near you then yay, embrace them, have tea with them, drink a shit ton of wine and then work out and repeat that a million times over. But if your life is in transition and you don’t have that strong girl gang right now start to find one. Sign up for an art class, go to a meetup, heck come to one of our positive female workshops so that you can meet other like minded people who could eventually become your new friends.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 5: Keep Busy
We know the break up is tough, and you are going to have to go through your own mourning of the relationship. When you start to find ways to keep busy. Maybe you throw yourself into your work, perhaps it’s time to get back into writing, sewing, dancing, or whatever part of yourself that you had to sacrifice for a bit when in that relationship. Maybe you just really want to work out extra. Use this time to explore all those things you had to put to the side when you were in that relationship and keep busy.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 6: Get a good vibrator.
Yah we know we preach this all the time. But for real, you should have a good vibrator or at least a good idea of what gets you turned on and felt good. Use this time to explore yourself and get to know what turns you on and off. You know that Zara Larson Lyric ” No One’s Ever Touched Me Like I Touch Myself.” Yeah it’s true, and rock it out alone and love it.
Break Up Survival Guide Tip 7: Get a good playlist.
We got you covered girl with the ultimate break up playlist. Rock it out. Dance in your underwear. Love yourself.